When one door of happiness closes, another opens; But often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
– Helen Keller
How many times has this thought played out in your head? The game of guilt bullying you unmercifully.
Many times mothers feel the most anguish in believing they are the sole reason for their child’s autism diagnosis.
Thoughts are like an old VHS tape. The rewind button won’t stop being pressed. Every moment of the pregnancy is replayed. Did we eat or drink the wrong thing? Did we breathe “polluted” air? Did we not take good care of ourselves? These questions incessantly haunt us.
If no clear answers come up, then every second of our child’s life, birth to present, is mulled over and dissected. Was it an illness, genetics, a toxic environment or vaccinations that thrust them into this whirlwind?
Sadly, the answer will typically not present itself. More questions than answers will be added to the autism mystery.
Be warned. Guilt is dangerous. A real enemy of your psyche. But understanding the past, without laying blame, may provide clues for dealing with your child’s autism.
The important lesson here is to separate your guilt feelings from your quest for understanding what came from your past. We did the best we could with what we knew at the time. Now we know more and can do better.