Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process.
-Anne Wilson Schaef
Autism has changed us for the better and for the worse.
On the positive side, being moms of children with autism has made us more patient and understanding and has put our lives into perspective.
We have come to appreciate the simple things in life and no longer take things for granted. We truly value the little things our children do. Their accomplishments have incredible meaning to us. The first I love you, reaching a long awaited milestone, or playing chase with another child were moments we thirsted for and cherish to this day.
On the flip side, we are “googled out”… we have too much google information in our brains and as a result, life is not easy anymore. We see potential danger around every corner.
We live our lives in fear of the next regression. Will an innocent trip to the playground cause them to get sick, expose them to some horrible pesticide, or give them the opportunity to sneak food they shouldn’t eat?
We are tempted to shield and contain them and yet we know they need life experiences in order to develop their social skills.
We constantly worry about whether or not we’re making the right decisions. Are we doing enough? Or, are we doing too much? The “what ifs” plague us.
If only we could balance our drive and determination to improve our children’s health with not allowing the “what ifs” to take charge of our emotions. The “what ifs” prevent us from living a relaxed life.
We long for the days when we didn’t feel the need to over think our every move.