ANNIE’S STORY – PART TEN OF TWELVE
“It’s always darkest before the dawn.”
Annie had just recovered from a debilitating case of hives when her fifth birthday rolled around. What should have been a joyous occasion for celebration, felt like a funeral to me. I could not stop myself from spiraling into another depression. I lashed out at everyone around me.
Being a goal-oriented person, I had set a deadline that Annie would be recovered by five. When we didn’t make the deadline, I fell apart. Instead of focusing on the positive gains she had made, all I could see was how far we still had to go. I contemplated taking care of Annie for the rest of my life and really questioned whether I had the strength to do it. Worse yet, what if I died? Who would take care of Annie then?
I was resentful. I felt like so much had been taken from me. I was jealous of my friends and family with neurotypical children. It was hard for me to even be around them.
Nobody could console me. I just wanted to be left alone.
I thought about giving up on Annie’s recovery. I was so tired – physically, mentally, and emotionally. I felt so alone. I wondered if it would be better to just accept my fate. Maybe the skeptics were right about autism recovery – I was just wasting my time and money.
This was my third “defining moment” with autism. I hit rock bottom. I stopped obsessively googling autism treatments. I stopped reading recovery stories. I stopped making doctor appointments. I stopped ordering new supplements. I stopped questioning my friends about what was working for their children.
I was still.
I knew I had to “get it together” because, after all, I’m a parent. I didn’t know what else to do, so I turned to prayer. I prayed my brains out for guidance from God. I prayed like I had never prayed in my life. During one of my prayer times, I heard that voice in my head say,”What about homeopathy?”
I had stumbled upon homeopathy several years earlier in my research, but had dismissed it. Never the less, I went to my computer and googled autism and homeopathy. This time, I read about a completely different approach to homeopathy called sequential homeopathy.
I believe Annie regressed into autism because of a combination of many factors and therefore, I believe it will take a combination of lots of things to heal her. This is what sequential homeopathy believes too. Also, with sequential homeopathy, you work backwards throughout your child’s life to clear all of his/her various health assaults. You clear the most recent health assaults all the way back to assaults at birth. Every month, you are peeling away another layer and gently getting to the root of the problem. This is my very simplistic, “mom-ified” version of sequential homeopathy.
It made sense to me. I had come to believe that the reason Annie kept having mini regressions, as I tried to heal her biomedically, was because she would experience too much detox, too fast. Her fragile system could not handle so many toxins at once and then her behavior, academics, and language would suffer. Sequential homeopathy believes in supporting the major organs involved in detox and going very slowly so that this won’t be as likely to happen.
I made an appointment with a center renowned for its work with sequential homeopathy and autism. I told Leah that if this didn’t help Annie, I was going to throw in the towel. She would have to shoot for recovery without me.
To be honest, I wasn’t expecting much. I no longer had the energy to get my hopes up, only to be smashed to bits. Sequential homeopathy was my last resort.
To be continued…
For Parts 1 – 9 of Annie’s Story, https://ventography.wordpress.com/category/annies-story/